Four days and I am feeling the strain. Yesterday, croutons almost did me in. Today it was garlic bread. But I am hanging in there. I REALLY want a piece of cake right now. I'm debating whether or not to allow myself a piece to prevent a binge. The thing is, just because I haven't been binging doesn't mean I've been eating well. Maybe I should have a piece anyways.One piece is better than ten. I don't want to relapse.
I had a meeting with my therapist on Wednesday. It wasn't a very productive meeting. She spent most of the session trying to tell me my that the other problems in my life unconscious sources of my eating problems (i.e. my lacking dating life) and I spent the session trying to convince her that maybe I have a food addiction. We didn't really come to a consensus. Or a plan for treatment. I've been in a pretty good place this week, and she seems to think that my very small achievements are proof that I am improving. I will see her again in two weeks and we'll see how I am then. I hope that she is right.
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