It's time to start a new contract with myself. I've been trying all week to get myself back on track but it just hasn't happened. I can't seem to stop eating. I finally got the courage to weigh myself. It's not good news (though I suppose it could be a lot worse). I've gained 3 lbs. I don't want to keep going like this. I am so sick and tired of feeling fat and disgusted with myself all the time. I want to feel normal again.
So here is my new promise to myself.
1. I will not snack between meals, not even to try a PIECE of something.
2. I will not taste/sample/snack while preparing meals.
3. I will not eat after 8'clock at night.
4. I will eat mindfully and listen to my body when it says its full.
Those are my absolute rules. I am also going to work on balancing my intake--not depriving myself of treats but not over-indulging on them either. I want to learn to tolerate hunger again and learn how not to eat when I am stressed, distracted, or just plain bored. Mostly, I just want to get to a place where I can not feel guilty about how much and what I am eating, where I don't think about food all the time and how fat I am getting. Because I am not fat. Three pounds is nothing. I can easily get back to normal by getting healthy.
There's one additional promise I'd like to make to myself for this weekend. My mom bought red velvet cupcakes for a treat. I've never tried red velvet before but I've always wanted to. My promise is that I will allow myself to enjoy this treat, however, I will NOT sneak any more (not even a crumb) once I am finished my portion and I will NOT feel bad about it. One cupcake is not going to ruin me.
Wish me luck!