March 04, 2012

Saying No To the Cake

I have been such a failure lately. I am binge eating or overeating nearly everyday now. I haven't weighed myself, but I must be packing on the pounds. I hate what I am doing to myself. I hate how this feels.

I do have one very small achievement to report today. My mom bought a Black Forest Cake yesterday--instant temptation. Yesterday, yes, I did binge. Today, yes, I did overeat. However, I was picking at the leftover cake, on the verge of going onto a binge with it...but I managed to walk away. I don't know how, but I did. And then later, when I was thinking about how much I'd already messed up and that I might as well just go ahead and have a piece, I managed to say no. I don't know if this is a sign of progress at all, or just my body saying that it was satisfied for once. I'm going to choose to take it as a positive. Afterall, something I need to learn about my disorder is that I can't just "start tomorrow". I have to start today.

1 comment:

  1. That's a great sign lovely! How were you feeling just before the binge? Sometimes it helps me to think about this if I feel another binge coming up later. I think 'I KNOW I will feel so good if I resist this.' But I know how hard that can be.